First there was Diagnosis Day.... and now Vitrectomy Day is finally here....
September 28, 2018. This is a big day to say the least. It marks the end of a very long summer. A summer spent fighting a war against a microscopic enemy. A summer spent in and out of hospitals, filled with worry, angst and fear. Today marks the beginning of something new. It is the start to a new chapter, one filled with hope and light for our family and more importantly Emilia.
Emilia’s surgery was originally scheduled for Sept 26, and It was exactly one year prior that this journey really began for me. I remember it like it was yesterday. Sept 26, 2017... my very first RCIA class. I had no idea walking into that class the profound effect that it would have on my entire life in the year to come, and how incredibly necessary it would be to my survival.
For those of you who are not familiar with RCIA it is the Right of Catholic Initiation for Adults, essentially it is a course that you take in order to learn about Catholicism and the path along which you must travel to become a Catholic as an adult.
Prior to this I had never really been drawn to attend church or learn more about God. He interested me in some ways but I just wasn’t a “believer”. I was married in a Catholic Church to please my husband who was born and raised Catholic and again I was never compelled to join the faith at that time. It wasn’t until last year, after the birth of our sweet daughter that I decided I needed to invest the time to learn more. I wanted my daughter to have a mother who understood and would be able to guide her in faith in an educated way.
I spent the next several months at the church every Tuesday evening from 7-9(or sometimes 10 depending on how in depth our topic of discussion took us). Through my time with RCIA I learned so much about not just Catholicism and faith, but also about myself. I learned about family, love and how God is such an integral part of any loving family. I developed a relationship with God that I never would have believed was possible prior to this journey.... and I can look back on it now and feel so incredibly thankful to him. He called to me, he compelled me to come to him and build a relationship with him so that he would be there for me and Emilia in the months ahead.
I truly believe that God has a plan for each of us now. Nothing happens by accident. It was not until I sat down to write this that I realized the date of my first meeting with God was Sept 26. I knew it was the last Tuesday in September, but opening up my calendar to see that date sent chills through me.... even though her surgery is now on the 28th, we still met the amazing Dr. L on the 26th which I feel is a sign.
As many of you know, my daughter Emilia was diagnosed in April 2018 with Bilateral Retinoblastoma; a rare form of cancer which affects approximately 10-15 children in Canada each year. As a new mom I had no idea that this cancer even existed... and of course I never thought that I would ever be a mom of a child with cancer. But I am. And I am proud.
Summer 2018 was, intensely difficult. Emilia underwent 4 rounds of systemic chemotherapy, over a dozen operations to look at and treat her eyes, countless needle pokes, medical injections to help her body combat the drugs that were combating the cancer and more nausea and sickness than I would like to remember. Through it all though... we are blessed. Emilia is the strongest person I know. She never looks sick, she never acts sick, and she has not let having cancer stop her from doing anything. At only 20.5 months she has a vast vocabulary, she runs, she plays, she feeds herself, gets dressed and does everything that any other kid her age would. She is truly amazing when you consider that for the first 15 months of her life her vision was slowly becoming more and more limited. When we discovered her cancer the doctors explained that it was likely she only had a small patch of vision in the outer corner of one eye... and yet, you would never have known!
Now some of you may be wondering why I am saying how truly blessed we are after going through all that we have, it’s a fair question.
The answer is simple. God drew me in to him long before I ever knew how much I would need him. Faith is what has gotten me through each day with a smile, it has helped to keep my head above water on the bad days. I still remember when I was told that I needed to accept that Emilia would not always have two eyes. That the priority was to save her life. The chemo was supposed to make her thin, frail, bald and pale.... well for those of you who haven’t met her, she is chubby, tanned, exuberant and she has a beautiful head of baby blonde hair! She also still has BOTH eyes; and the one we thought would need to be removed, is the eye that is undergoing a ground breaking procedure today!
If all goes well, which we know it will as our doctor is being guided by God. Her damaged retina will be repaired, it will heal and she will regain a significant portion of central vision in her bad eye! Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined this outcome!! Oh and I forgot to mention... one other way God has stepped in to help Emilia; he sent her surgeon to us from China! There is only one man in the entire world skilled enough to do this procedure and we were prepared to fly to him to make it happen, but yet again the stars have aligned for our little Emilia and he agreed to come to us! Emilia will be one of only a handful of children to ever receive this surgery in Canada... it will be one for the books and there will be a large audience watching her surgery and cheering her on! How could I possibly not feel incredibly blessed!
If I had not opened my heart and gone to that first meeting with God, I do not know how I would ever have made it through these last few months. I am so thankful to God for all he has done for Emilia, myself and our entire family. Thank you to each and every one of you for your thoughts and prayers for her throughout this entire process - we love you!
